Crude and Rude!

I'm not sure what is going on, but lately there have been lots of crude and rude library patrons.  Maybe it is the full moon.  Maybe it is the sense of entitlement people think they have.  Or maybe people just want to stick it to someone who can't say what they are really thinking back to them!  In the past week I have been told I suck because the book the person needed was checked out and her report was due the next day.  I  had to ask a patron to stop cussing (well he was cussing out his mother -that's another story) and to keep his voice down and he told me "This isn't any of your f**king business".  (For some reason my library gives this young man a pass because he has a brain injury.  I don't agree with that.  I think everyone should be held to the same standard of the code of conduct).  I had someone who was participating int he adult reading program say that the mug which is given for reading 8 books wasn't useful to her and she wanted a different prize. Granted the adult reading program is voluntary and you get some nice prizes for just reading!  So why complain about the prizes??? On a side note, I wanted to say to her "Let me run to Petsmart and get you a dog bowl to drink out of since cups are not useful to you".  Finally, don't get me started on cell phones.  Just put your phone down for 5 minutes and make eye contact with me when I am helping you. You can be off of Facebook for 5 minutes while I try to find you resources for your homework.

So my question  is why are people so mean and ungrateful while using the public library??  Where else can you go to use a computer for free? Where else can you check out books, audio books,  video games, and dvds for free?  Where else can you download ebooks and music for free?? (Okay, property taxes support my library, but it is minimal compared to what you get!).  I guess I won't ever get an answer to that question, but I would love to know why some people are so ungrateful while using the array of items and services available at the public library.

After working with the public for the last 18 years, it has made me a nicer person when I am out and about.  Just because I am having a bad day (trust me I have been having a bad day for the last month - maybe another post in the future) doesn't mean that I get to take it out on the person at the grocery store who is helping me.  I have also learned that "please" and "thank you" go a long way.  Since I wanted to be treated with respect when I am at my job, I do the same when I am at the store, movie theater, etc. The world would truly be a better place if we all treated one another like we want to be treated.

Reader's Advisory Scares The Hell Out Of Me!

One of my job duties is to teach the other staff in my library district about Reader's Advisory.  I sort of inherited the job from another librarian who went on to greener pastures.  I only have to do it for 3 days once a year.  But for the last 3 years, I have panicked about it for at least a month before I teach because I don't have a set answer on how to help a patron find a good book. Also, I think staff are tough critics and I want to be sure to know my stuff when I present it. But I really have to get over it.  I have 1.5 hours to help the staff who attend my class feel more comfortable doing reader's advisory.   I know that in MLS programs, they spend a whole semester. So I know I am barely scratching the surface.  But it still scares me!

But what scares me more is I know that every week at the Reference Desk, someone is going to ask me to recommend a book. Or they are going to tell me that they are in a reading slump.  I stay cool and calm on the outside, but on the inside I am saying "oh sh*t, what the hell am I going to recommend to them?"  (BTW, my library has plenty of reader's advisory tools, but it is still one of the hardest questions to get at the reference desk.)  Sometimes I hit it out of the park and recommend a book or two that someone loves and they thank me the next time they see me.  Other times, I spend 30 to 45 minutes with someone and nothing I recommend is good enough for them.  Unfortunately, the bad experiences stick with me.

So why is reader's advisory so hard??  BTW, can anyone recommend any good books??

Still Getting The Hang Of Things....

I know I have at least one reader out there (Hi!), but just in case there are others, I want to apologize for being so long between posts. I won't make excuses.  I just need to add my blog to my daily To-Do list.  So please hang in there with me while I get the hang of regular blogging.

Thanks.

Library Cards

Yesterday, it seemed every person I helped didn't have a library card.  They had one, but no on them.   This is probably one of my main pet peeves. Yes, we can look up the card number, etc.  But it just makes life easier if you have your card.  I know there are times when someone stops by the library on the spur of the moment and doesn't have their card.  No big deal.  My main pet peeve is with the people who are regulars and NEVER have their cards.  The icing on the cake is when they cop an attitude with me when I ask them for their card. One person told me that I was way too demanding when I asked her for her library card.  I wish I were psychic and knew they didn't have their card when they walk up to the reference desk, but I am not that good.   I wonder if these same people call to QVC, etc. to order items and they don't have their credit card handy?

Also since I am discussing my pet peeves, one other one that blows my mind is when people call to put a book on hold or reserve a computer while driving.  This is one case that I don't mind they don't have their library card handy.  But it makes me wonder how pressed for time people are if the only time they can call the library to place a book on hold is when they are driving 75 mph on I-25 with children in the vehicle.  One day I just know I am going to hear a crash.  

I want to stress I like my job and I have been doing for many, many years now.  But some days the reference desk has a theme and yesterday was no library card day.  Oi!

Odd Librarian Out

I freely admit that I am an odd duck when it comes to books and television.  I don't read best sellers. It took me years before I picked up a James Patterson or Robert B. Parker book.  I liked both of them and will probably read more.  It took me a year to read Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.  I only read it because the American movie version was coming and out and I really wanted to see it.   Most of the time, my reading and television habits aren't that big of a deal.  But lately with the return of Downton Abbey, I am feeling like Odd Librarian Out.   I have never watched Downton Abbey. I  have nothing against the show, the show creators, actors, etc. I just never watched it.  I admit on Sunday nights, I am probably watching Family Guy and American Dad on Fox. Or I am in bed reading a book.(I know, I need to get a life, but you read my post on dating, so....) Yes, I have a Tivo and could record it, but I am just not ready to watch it yet.    When patrons come in and ask for the dvds for Downton Abbey and they ask me if I have watched and I say no, they act like I just told them I plan on overthrowing the government! They are so shocked. Some of them try to act like they wouldn't watch it either but their spouse insisted.  Or they wonder if I even own a television.  I do and it is a nice one actually. Don't worry, at this point I am intrigued by all of the hoopla surrounding the show, so I am going to get Amazon Prime, so I can catch up!  (Yep, still odd librarian out since I don't have a streaming service at this time either! YIKES!!!)

This goes beyond Downton Abbey.  The other day I was helping someone put a couple seasons of Breaking Bad on hold. She asked me if I had ever watched and what I thought of the show.  I told her I have never watched.  She then asked me if I was against drugs. SERIOUSLY???? Yes, in real life Melissa of the Reference Desk is against drugs. I don't think that needs explanation.  For the record, I have never done any recreational drugs and I hardly ever have a cocktail or beer. But anyway, I told this patron I don't have a problem with drugs in a television drama. I just never got around to watching the show, but eventually I will.

Thanks to technology, I never have to miss a show ever again.  I might not watch it for a few years, but I will get around to it.  Just don't tell me the ending!

Active Shooter Dating

A fact of our reality in 2014 is that there is violence in schools and the workplace. My public library has prepared the employees by having Active Shooter Training. This was intense for some of my coworkers.  They didn't want to think about anything violent happening in the library.  The training really didn't bother me too much because my first job out of graduate school was in a prison.  So I had to do lots of training even before stepping foot in the prison library.  That training is with me today, years later.   Even if some of my coworkers freaked out about the training, I think we have to be prepared for the worst and realize that nothing will probably happen.

Every year this time, I resolve to get back into the dating game and sign up for one of the multitude of online dating sites.  This January 1st, I realized I was in a funk and couldn't stop eating.  (Eating is my drug of choice.  I don't drink, smoke, do recreational drugs, but when I am feeling anxious or stressed, a slice of red velvet cake can do wonders for my nerves!). My anxious mood was caused by the fact that I vowed to give online dating another shot.  So I went online to do a little research to try and finally have a great profile and meet some interesting men who are date worthy.  Well my hopes were dashed on my first Google search.  I searched on "Online Dating and Black Women" and up popped an article from NPR. The Daily Mail also reported on it.  Apparently, black women are least likely to get a message from anyone on online dating sites!  Great!  I have been wasting my money and time.  On the upside, at least I know it isn't just me.  Most black women don't get noticed on online dating sites.   Then I had the thought "Holy crap, I have a better chance of being shot at the reference desk than I do meeting the love of my life".  What a thought to start off the new year.  Please pass me another slice of red velvet cake please! Obviously, I have done online dating in the past without much success.  I have found that lots of married men do online dating to find a play-thang because their wives don't understand them or want to have much sex.  Not my scene. Or I have been a novelty for some because they have always wanted to date a black woman and figured Why Not!  So my luck hasn't been all that great.

So it is January 9th and I am stuck. I have done online dating in the past and at time I thought I met someone I was going to at least have a relationship with Do I spend the money and the time to try and meet the love of my life online?  Is there really a guy out there for me and I just haven't crossed paths with him?  Or should I just read the writing on the wall and move on from online dating?  What do you think?  At this point, I am willing to take advice from anyone.  I'd like to raise the odds of finding the love of my life versus those of being shot!

Conduct Unbecoming!

In the last week or so, there has been much talk about the ALA (American Library Association) Code of Conduct.  The last time I remember this much discussion on a topic in libraries was when libraries installed computers with Internet access.  At that time people were concerned about person's  right to go to the library and view adult content. This issue worked its way out and I do believe the issues surrounding the Code of Conduct will work out as well. 


I can see why people are upset.  We don't like being told how to behave.  After all we are professional adults and should know how to behave and treat others with respect.  Also, ALA needs to have sponsors for the conferences. And if those sponsors want a code of  conduct in order to participate, then so be it.  I firmly support the Code of Conduct. I think people need to be reminded to behave appropriately.  


After I read a few of the blog posts on the issue, my first thought was a code of conduct is needed not because of in person interactions, but because of social media.  20 years ago, you would go to a conference and you would submit comment cards on someone's presentation and that's how they would get feedback.  But now, someone could record a presentation on their tablet, laptop, smartphone, etc. and then post it online and ridicule the presenter.  As great as social media is, I find that people use it to be mean and vicious. What better way to get back at someone than to post nasty comments about that person and then let others weigh in as well.  What better way to post how you really feel about a race/culture than on social media. Yes, there have been high profile people who have done this and it has ruined their lives and career.  But what happens to an average Joe??  Probably not much.  I use to have a Twitter account, but deleted it when I kept seeing racist and sexist remarks that people thought were hilarious. I didn't want to condone that type of behavior.  Also, I found that there was no way to avoid it. 


If the Code of Conduct makes people stop and think about what they are going to post online at a Conference, then I am all for it.  Every person who attends deserves and should expect to be treated with respect.

Hello!

I have two good friends who have told me for years that I needed to do a blog.  They like my sense of humor and observations about the world.  But I just couldn't think of what to blog about.  I am a librarian and know there are many library/librarian oriented blogs out there.  One of my favorites was Ref Grunt.  I could totally relate to him being a reference librarian myself.   Another favorite was Will Unwound by Will Manley. He just stopped doing it to focus on writing a book.  Hopefully he will keep writing The Manley Arts for Booklist.  Two more favorite blogs (not library related) are by the writer Jane Heller - Mainly Jane and Confessions of a She-Fan.  I discovered Jane Heller because of her book Confessions of a She-Fan - about her obsession with the New York Yankees.  I too love the New York Yankees and could relate and then started reading her blogs.   But anyway...back to my new blog.

In 2011, I went on a trip with a good friend to England.  It was really great despite the fact I had my HUGE suitcase and for some reason didn't realize that I would be dragging it with me everywhere.  I would love to do the trip again with a duffel bag and quick dry clothing.  But anyway..While we would be on a train or walking, my friend would say "you have to do a blog".  Then I would rattle off ideas for the blog.  The one I remember was "The Lovelorn Librarian" and talk about my attempts at dating.  She promptly said "Nope, too cliched".

One stop on the trip was Oxford and Oxford University.  I LOVE OXFORD and can't wait to go back again.   In case you don't know, you can use the dorm rooms as a bed and breakfast when classes aren't in session.  We stayed at Jesus College.   One of the most famous alumni of Jesus College was T.E. Lawrence aka Lawrence of Arabia. One morning while we were eating breakfast and discussing my blog, I looked up and saw a painting of T.E. Lawrence and said "Maybe I can be Melissa of the Reference Desk sort of like Lawrence of Arabia".  We both laughed and the name had stuck with me for the last couple of years.

I finally decided to just do it and blog.   I know I have lots to say about being a reference librarian and the state of public libraries as well as enough stuff outside of the library world.   I just hope people find my blog and find it entertaining.  I really do hope to be as entertaining as Ref Grunt, Will Manley, and Jane Heller.

So here we go!!